everything in school is changing. i feel alot more different than last year. my views on alot of things are changing. someone i use to be very close too, i cant stand the sight of. i dont know why i do, but its just that everytime i see that person, i have this feeling of loathing towards her. i know its most likely just jealousy or annoyance, but i just want everything to stay the same, i want to like her again, i dont want anything to change. change to me is a very very painful process, i know its the same for others too, but some people love it. to me whats scariest about it is that i dont care as much as i did before, i think i'm starting to forget. i dont want to. i dont want to move on. as i re-read the post, i know it sounds very much like someone just died. but it is true. i dont want that part of me thats been there for 2 yrs to die, i want to keep it there forever. it may sound really emo, but i hope everyone knows that i'm perfectly sane right now. i hate change but right now i hope something does. i dont want to continue hating that person. hate is not exactly something thats healthy.

lots of love,
mun

i bought two new books on sunday. the first one i read was a sarah dessen book called keeping the moon. i had my nose in it all the way till tues and i had to admit that it didnt quite live up to my expectations. but the second book was wonderful. i just finished it and i think it was the best book i've read all year. alot of people made fun of the title though, but i found the title really interesting. the book's called, scrambled eggs at midnight. its a really sweet book with some very touching moments. but, of course its a very corny, mushy book that i dont think any of my friends would like, let alone read it. sigh, no idea how i became friends with people so different from myself. anyway, in case no one has noticed,this is supposedly my 30th post, so i think im gonna make this a really long one. i have a lot of things to talk about. this week it seems to be nothing but parties. just visited my own blog and read all the tags. everyone seems to be talking all about netball. so to reply to all the tags, NETBALL SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, so anyway, gwen's birthday was really fun, but i think gwen was a little stressed by everyone. we went to band-age after, and it really sucked. i think my eardrums are permanently damaged after all that noise. hope you're feeling better today gwen!

on monday, it was eddies party. we went to this italian restaurant for lunch and i was sitting next to sarah, opposite sheryl and sam. all of us were teasing sam saying that she was flirting with the waiters. and sheryl was demonstrating how she could flirt with them. after, we played dog and bone. it was lots of fun exept when gen's grp beat ours. then we went swimming and everyone tried to fit onto this one float and paddle all the way to the other end.

chan's birthday was the next day, and no offense chan, but it was really boring. first we went to go on the luge and do you know what, everyone forgot about me, ting and sarah wong. after that i really didnt talk to anyone much. i felt really left out, and apparently marian was angry at me that day, so she was practically glued to loo loo, gen and esther cheah (that part seems a little strange), gwen was sick that day, sam was talking to ting yan and sheryl, so i mostly talked to tan. i felt really close to her again, like when we were in perth. actually the reason why chan's party seemed boring to me was mostly my fault, i was feeling terrible that day, and everyone not talking to me kinda made it worst but thank goodness tan was there, if not i might have just went back early. my mom was supposed to come pick me, tan and sarah wong up. while we were waiting in the lobby for her, me and tan had our noses really blocked, but none of us had tissue, so tan went to borrow the whole box from this guy at the lobby. i used 8 pieces of tissue to blow my nose, and im serious 8 pieces. when i went home, i was right, i was coming down with something. i had a serious headache when i went home and i used up 3 boxes of tissue. most likely some bug going around.

so thats the end of my really long post hope its long enough!

lots of love,
mun

p.s. i'm waiting for the stars/moon to find me

hi. i got my computer access back from my mom so i can finally post. i'm so excited about gwen's b'day on sat, and i already thought of the perfect present but i can't say it now cause gwen might be reading.and if anyone is wondering about the swimming thing gen and marian are talking about, i invited some of my really gd frens to with me to macs after the cross country thing. i invited marian, gwen, tanya, sarah, sam and esther and gen. (bothof them ditched me for the ridiculous netball finals. aren't i more important than that? the ans is of course, NO! ok right now i'm in the com lab with marian and practically the whole of 1T is here. i need to go now. got to finish the gb homework. speaking of which i hope it rains today then i don't need to go for drill!

lots of love,
mun

sorry about how emo my post sounded yesterday, but it was because i was really angry with my mom yesterday for scolding me. she scolded us again today during lunch. i find my mom a very unreasonable person. she gets angry at me when i lose my temper and lose control over my emotions, yet all of have to be understanding when she loses her temper. she keeps saying that we don't have a right to lose our temper but she does because she's upset with something. doesnt she understand that we can get upset too? anyway, next week is health awareness week in school so everyone is going to take part in activities like benchball and mass skipping. everyone except me. dont get me wrong, i really really wanted to play benchball or something but there wasnt enough space for everyone to play. the good thing though is that i dont need to run during our cross country on friday because of my 'condition'. yesterday we had our health checkup and it was a lot of fun. while we were waiting, we played contact and a game sam taught us called polar bear. when i was inside, i laughed my guts out with woo meiling because she kept comparing both our figures and making sound effects. when i had my health checkup, everything was absolutely fine. my spine was relatively straight, my eyesight hasnt increased and best of all, i lost 4 kg! that was definitely what made me happiest. marian is getting closer and closer to her group members and tanya and all of them are getting a whole lot closer to all their classmates. i guess i feel a little jealous cause right now i feel more alone than ever. but i guess my 'time' will come. i hope and pray that it comes soon.

lots of love,
mun