everything in school is changing. i feel alot more different than last year. my views on alot of things are changing. someone i use to be very close too, i cant stand the sight of. i dont know why i do, but its just that everytime i see that person, i have this feeling of loathing towards her. i know its most likely just jealousy or annoyance, but i just want everything to stay the same, i want to like her again, i dont want anything to change. change to me is a very very painful process, i know its the same for others too, but some people love it. to me whats scariest about it is that i dont care as much as i did before, i think i'm starting to forget. i dont want to. i dont want to move on. as i re-read the post, i know it sounds very much like someone just died. but it is true. i dont want that part of me thats been there for 2 yrs to die, i want to keep it there forever. it may sound really emo, but i hope everyone knows that i'm perfectly sane right now. i hate change but right now i hope something does. i dont want to continue hating that person. hate is not exactly something thats healthy.

lots of love,
mun